Friday 26 August 2016

DESPERATE TO UPGRADE HUSBAND?

Computers?  I love'em.  Is it that women are better than men at using them?  More patient when it comes to trouble-shooting?  I know quite a few men who leave their wives to book the holidays, print out the family photos etc.

In the early days of computers I remember the times when I needed help and the men (and there were only men) quickly high-tailed it out the office!

But this (internet) letter from our friend Bob, made me laugh!  It is Good Medicine for when you are tired of trying to bring your husband into the 21st century!


The Lady in Rosslyn Chapel Window is Prepared to Offer Up Her iPad


 
Tech Support 
Letter
  
Dear Tech Support,

 

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
 


Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
 


What can I do?
 


Signed, Desperate

 


Dear Desperate,

 

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

 

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

 

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.  In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.



Good Luck!



 

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